Wednesday, January 13, 2010

backstabbers

Posting this near 2:07 AM for tradition. I will be on hiatus until the 30th, since I am taking a holiday for two weeks and schooling starts soon again. However, I will try and continue updating my personal blog, as my New Year's resolution is to update it at least three times a week. I might also update The Crogabond Experience a bit while in Melbourne. Good tidings, all. I will leave you with some words I like.

Jism.
Flatulence.
Swarm.
Pumpernickel.
Fuck.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

gonna be your man

The internet is a wonderful and mystical place to be. It is my favorite place, I love it so much. It has been many years, but I am still stunned. There are millions and millions of websites to look at, from great ones to What the fuck is wrong with people ones. I just love it, though - I read webcomics, play free games, get information, the internet is probably one of the biggest parts of my daily life.

I was eleven when I first went onto the internet. I went on a website called Funny Junk, that may not exist anymore, to look at funny things. Then I used MSN to talk to my brother's friends. Slowly, my horizon expanded until I am as internet savvy as I am today. If it wasn't for the internet and the reading of things on it, I would not have my grammar, punctuation or skill of writing I have now. Not to sound egotistical, but it is true. I would be a blistering idiot if not for it. I might still have been stupid if I still had the internet, but I guess it was just luck that I chose the right websites and read the right things.

It also inspires friendship. I met my best friend on the internet on an internet forum, and we talk every day on an instant messenger. Last year, he visited me in Sydney and later that year I visited him in Melbourne. In two days I'm going back to Melbourne to stay at his place for two weeks. I would never have otherwise met him if I never had the internet, which is amazing to think.

I also get all of my news off the internet, from lots of reliable websites. There is a large majority of news websites that you can read and choose from, and the topics that they write about are vast and endless.

I don't even feel like writing anymore. There is so much shit I could write about, but I'll stop. In conclusion: the internet is okay I guess.

Monday, January 4, 2010

homewrecker

Sometimes I see people in different ways. Mostly people I have never met, or will never probably meet again. I think about the lady in the dress looking at the cat food, thinking about what crazy things have happened to her in the past thirty-something years she has existed as a living, breathing person. Sometimes I think about how she will eventually come to her end, whether it be from natural causes, murder or suicide.

I have come to the conclusion that people are weird. What is morality? Are people right for sticking to their normal lives, or was there meant to be more to it then there already is.
If we started life all over, maybe life is all about eating eye-patches. On a sandwich, with some sauce, maybe in a salad, maybe it's the salad, whatever. You eat 'em. Maybe you don't like eyepatches, but it is how you do shit in this reality! Stick to what you know, you little cunt, and eat your eyepatches, or so help me you won't get that scraggy beard for dessert!

Maybe if the world was different, and it was these different people inventing things and slowly developing the world into what it is today, everything could be impossibly different. The USA made of onion dip and snakes. Japan a wholly underground-built country. Australia populated by Russians and called Russolia. Jesus actually a chick with big jugs that convinced everyone in the world she is god by wanking them all off. The possibilities are endless.

Maybe in this ultimate universe, J.K Rowling is a good writer. Oh snap.

Anyway, my point is that... that you... hm. I don't seem to have a point. Hold on, give me a second to think of one.

Um.

Hm.

The world would be great if America was made of onion dip.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

heaven

I know what you're thinking. "This handsome jerk!" you announce aloud to yourself, shaking your tiny fist at your computron. "He shouldn't be writing this blog! Scoundrel! I'm suing the internet!" and then you pursue to sue the internet, and lose your house and wife in the process. Good job, dumbass.

Looking me up on the internet, you might think I'm some dumb kid that likes videogames and goes on the internet, and maybe jerks off sometimes. You are pretty much correct there, but don't accuse me of a small child of the baby boomers generation (or whatever the fuck generation it is called) and only liking the Gears of Halo and the and the games wer u shot teh skany biches, and saying how shitty other games are. If you think I am like that, there is no way for me to describe to you how far off-base you are. You can't even see the base from there. You're looking around, but you can't find it. Where's the base?

Although I do enjoy playing those kinds of games, more often that not I love the artsy, profound or different games that most silly little shits my age don't bat an eyelid at. Also, from reading this right now and seeing that I use punctuation, you can probably tell that I don't scream about how you just shot me with a rocket launcher and how it isn't fair and wah wah wah.

The games I like are usually the ones that look like they are bringing something new to the industry, and have a flair that catches my eye, independent or no. I also enjoy games that I get from word-of-mouth that are just plain fun. Games with a good narrative I also rather enjoy.

Also, just because I am a teeny-bopper, doesn't mean I don't like to play ye older games too. I fucking love those. Sure, it might be my fault that my mother didn't fuck some dude twenty years ago and a little man called me didn't pop out, crack my knuckles and say "Right, wheres the Contra, bitches?", but I liked to play games on emulators and then on the Wii virtual console.

Something that older gamers worry about is the kids not learning about yesteryear's classics, and in come fifty or so years they will all be forgotten in a haze of Call of Duty and Mountain Dew, but even I, fifteen year old charming Jace have not forgotten and will assist you in your noble quest.

It is a little sad. Sometimes I wish I was older, because it feels like I am in the wrong crowd of people. These people talking about thefting automobiles and how they totally got 4 frags and leveled up the other day and Mountain Dew spurted out of their ears,, all I think about is how glorious the medium is and how much it has meant to me all my life, and how I should play the first game I ever played again, Super Mario Brothers 3, and go home and save the world in my living room.

Save the world in a tanooki suit.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

don't stop

Hello! Welcome to the noise.

There is a peculiar thing with me. See, I am ambitious until I am not ambitious anymore. "Jace!" Huh? Oh, what? "That doesn't make sense!" It totally does. Also, don't talk over me. Jeez.

Let me sum it up. There are lots of things I want to try as a hobby - even a job, such as programming, DJing, writing and so on. The thing is though, is that most of these seem like too much trouble and I never get around - let me rephrase that - never get arsed to actually practice or even do any of these things. It is very much like a child that wants to be a famous actor or musician when he becomes older, except he never ponders over his actual musical or acting prowess.

"But Jace!" Fuck, what now? "They are kids! Let them dream!" That is perfectly fine, they can dream! I just feel as though I am in this sort of position, like I'm trapped in some sort of whimsical dance, and I'm trying to stop dancing and maybe take a break and learn how to be a DJ, programmer or writer, and - "Jace!" Christ! What?! "Your analogy stopped making sense!" I don't even care. Get fucked. Smartass.

You know what? I've probably got the best chance out of the three to get a writing gig in a few trillion years, and writing is probably what I want to do. I enjoy writing, and apparently some people enjoy me writing too. Although I'm not sure I want to try something different with my life, spark some shit up, or get a normal office job. "But Ja-" FUCK OFF. No more talking. Let me finish.

An office job may sound horrible to you, compared to a job that is, say, hanging out with a turtle, and as awesome as that turtle may be, you might start not liking the turtle. Or maybe the turtle starts to hate you. Maybe he hates your fucking guts. You start getting miserable. Soon, you realize that maybe there is too much of a spark in your life, a spark that you may not even be able to shut down before it shocks your ass.

I might be wrong, however.

Although, as unexciting as an office job may sound (and be) it is something I might want to be involved in. I don't know why. Maybe it is the cubicles, and hanging out with the same people every day, saying good morning, and even if you do hate someones guts, you might not hate some other person's guts, and there is something warm and cuddly about being bored with the same people every day, and working with them.

I'm thinking it is the cubicles though.

Scalawag.
Jace